The End Is Near (Again)

Last night my brother, sister-in-law and mother (along with several hundred others) attended a lecture by someone named Joel Rosenberg, a Messianic Jew, best-selling author (Tom Clancy meets Tim LaHaye) and celebrity eschatological swami beloved by the likes of Rush Limbag and Sean Hannity. Afterwards, I inquired about the lecture (e.g. was there any rubbing of a crystal ball involved, etc.) and the summing up involved the following: "of course there is no claim that anyone truly knows the exact time when the Lord will come back." My response of "but why not sell a few hundred thousand books off a gullible public in the meantime" was met with a disgusted harrumphing, a "you're so cynical" with a side order of glare for good measure.

Normally, and for good reason, that would've been the end of my curiosity about Joel Rosenberg. This isn't a blog-rant about why smart people like my aforementioned family members would find this sort of thing worth their time. I'm more than adequately accustomed to their exasperation with my unabating cynicism and my tendency to be pretty pissed off a good deal of the time (although I'm not like that at work or with other people in my life--I wonder why that is?). Many Christians have been curious about/obsessed with "the end times" for a very long time, and modest fortunes have been made by those deluded and ego-centric enough to suggest that he or she had discovered the eschatalogical equivalent of the Rosetta Stone. My pastor-ex-husband used to avoid asking parishoners what they'd like to hear from him about as inevitably someone would request an indepth exegesis on Revelation. Cue yawn.

I won't be able to contain my sudden interest in this topic with one post, so I'll end this one with the following questions that are on my mind today:

1) Why doesn't anyone ever suggest that the Anti-Christ could be an American? In my mind--there are some pretty strong contenders:

2) Apparently Mr. Rosenberg's primary sage advice for those worried that the world will end before the Rockies have a few more chances to win the World Series is this: pray for peace and prepare for war ("oh Lord please help the US kick some Islamic ass). My reponse to this is "whaaa?"

3) Rosenberg mentions that conspiciously absent in the cast of characters involved in the War of Gog and Magog is Iraq and Egypt. I wonder how he would classify the absence of......China?

Next time: The Geography of Gog and Magog.